


Responsible

by ClutchPaper



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-08 13:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15931643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClutchPaper/pseuds/ClutchPaper
Summary: The Lorelei family's troubled twins, navigating their young adulthood, and trying to understand why they made the choices they did.The explosion was audible from the courtyard, and Lawrence’s blood immediately ran cold. He stopped mounting up his horse, saddle only partially buckled over the startled and nervously clopping stallion. His eyes followed up the stone walls of the castle to the window where his lab was located, just as a gout of flame that blew through the window.I read the prompt that the twins transform together, and decided the play around with that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No Beta, I have been writing this late at night after work, so it will definitely have errors I don't catch.
> 
>  
> 
> I decided a few things:  
> -The twins were nearly identical as children.  
> -Lucius and Aurra have already went on their own paths.  
> -Their shared transformations are not always a choice.  
> (In my sleep-deprivedness I somehow blanked out on the fact Haldor, not Rosaline, was the original Lorelei. I don't know why. So, fixing that!)

  
Born only moments apart, two were a surprise. Preparation was made for the single child, but the twins left the staff and midwife scrambling. Hence why at some point in the process, and in the ensuing chaos as their mother began to struggle to recover from the difficult birth, no one noticed which of the boys had came first.  


Although their first breaths were absolutely interchangeable. They were anything but as they began to develop personalities. Despite this, they were always together, wild in their own ways, but somehow orbiting their own world.  


They taught themselves Elvish, a random academic interest that was particularly startling for the temperament of Benicio. But it became clear quickly it was another way for them to isolate themselves from the rest of the family, perhaps not intentionally, but none the less… they would wander the halls chattering in a language only a few in the castle knew. Benicio giving short answers to Lawrence’s excited banter.  


They would get upset with one another, but it never seemed to be enough for them to be apart for more than a few hours.  


As their teenage years began to change them into men, they became more and more abrasive to one another. But, they kept coming back, never really apologizing, but drifting back into their orbit. Benicio would be doing handstands in the corner while Lawrence explained some new concept he was reading about. No interest in what the other was doing, but together nonetheless.

\-----

Portia was the first one to notice that their aggressive streaks were becoming more pronounced. Father’s attention was turned to the recent leaving of Lucius, and the building of that chapel off the courtyard.  


So, when she caught them in the middle of a fist-fight, Benicio laughing wildly as his slightly more lanky brother tried to pummel him, she stomped up the grand staircase, tossing her slightly rain-damp cloak off her shoulders.  


The twins had begun to fill out, and had some serious growth spurts over the summer. They were ropey and strong, Benicio only slightly taller and more muscular. However, their voices were still struggling to find their depth. So, the sight looked like two men locked in a fist fight, but their shouts were filled with cracking voices.  


“What do you two think you’re doing!?” Her imperious shout made the scuffle pause for a moment, blood pouring out of Lawrence’s nose as he snarled, animalistically, up at Benicio who released one more blow before scrambling to his feet. “Hey, Port.”  


Lawrence slapped a hand over his face, breathing heavily, and trying to pinch the blood flow closed. “How wath... your ride?”  


“Don’t you try to pretend I didn’t see what I saw! What are you idiots doing?” She shoved the two as far apart as she could, even though her shorter height left her between the two towering fourteen year olds.  


“He wath--” Lawrence adjusted his hold on his nose, trying to sound less stuffy. “--messing with my alchemy supplies. He mixed a bunch of ingredients, hard to find ones, I might add! And then-- and then--!” Holding out a finger in accusation, his face growing furious once again. “--he drank it!”  


“I ralphed, like, all over. No regrets though. Could have been… uh… a cool potion or somethin’. I had to test it. I’m like a scient--”  


Portia dodged the swing that Lawrence took, and managed to kick his feet out from under him before the blow landed. She swung herself around, fully prepared for her brother to turn his attention on her, if he had managed to catch himself. But, he fell to the ground, and released the grip on his nose, so blood began flowing down his shirt again.  


“Damn, Port. That was… kinda cool.” Benny sounded very amused.  


Lawrence rolled into a seated position on the hall’s red carpet and glared at his siblings. “I hate both of you, just so you know!”  


Portia sighed, and crossed her arms, flipping her hair from over her shoulder. The white streaks that had appeared when her wolf first emerged catching her eye, it was still odd to see them from time to time. “Brother, you’re acting like a child. And you, Benicio--” Her haughty gaze went to the slightly burlier of the two. “--stay out of Larry’s stuff.”  


Benicio looked angry for a moment, then his expression shifted to complacent. “Sure. His stuff is all boring anyway.”  


“Just because you’re too stu--”  


“ENOUGH!” Portia shouted, stomping her foot. “Father and Katerine have enough to think about without you two acting like roughians! Work it out!” She knew that it was just a matter of time before they would catch the attention of their guardians, but she could deal with it as best she could. After all, she was the most reliable of the children, and she had to do what she must to keep the peace.  


\-----  


The explosion was audible from the courtyard, and Lawrence’s blood immediately ran cold. He stopped mounting up his horse, saddle only partially buckled over the startled and nervously clopping stallion. His eyes followed up the stone walls of the castle to the window where his lab was located, just as a gout of flame that blew through the window. “You absolute idiot!”

Releasing his hold on the horse, he began sprinting towards the door. There were screams echoing through the keep. Some came from the denizens of the household, shouting in fear, trying to track down where the booming sound came from. Then his ear caught one, not fear, but agony.  


With all of his strength, he raced through the main entry way and towards the grand staircase.  


Aunt Katerine was collapsed on the stairs, her old legs clearly have given out as she had been ascending and heard the shockingly loud sound. On her knees, clutching the stair-rail, she pointed to the smoke drifting from the hall down towards them. “It’s up there! Get the guards!” She caught his gaze as he ran past, and Lawrence felt a stab of shame at the fear in her eyes. She looked terrified in her own home. “Larry, get the guards! Don’t go up--”  


But he was gone before he heard the rest of the statement.  


A scent he didn’t recognize was mixed with one he did, burnt meat. Huffing through the thinning smoke, he dodged what used to be the door which now was just bits of wood scattered across the plush red carpet.  


There was another ‘Pop!’ and a flash of flame somewhere in the smoke that clouded the room.  


“Benny? Benny!?” Lawrence threw himself into the room, coughing as the room filled with another surge of smoke from whatever chemicals were mixing.  


A breeze blasted through the window, forcing the smoke towards the ceiling for a moment, and he saw his twin pressed against the wall, holding his arms against his chest. Strips of purple-grey skin hung from burnt red and brown wounds.  


“Get out! Get out!” Benny’s voice called, shrill as it broke due to pain or puberty. “Shi--”  


Another, although smaller, explosion. Blindingly bright light stabbed through Lawrence’s eyes, and he darted into the room, scrambling to shield his brother. He managed a gasp of clean-enough air, “Benny, are you able to--?”  


Something was beginning to hiss, like a build up of pressure. “One of the sealed vials must--”  


The explosion bounced his head off the wall beside Benny as the force hit him. No heat or flame, but something slammed into the back of his skull. Everything was ringing for a second as he felt his feet stumble, being pulled towards the door. His vision cleared enough to see his twin was staggering from the room, bloody and seared arms wrapped around his waist half-carrying him.  


Lawrence returned the hold, lending his own strength to the attempted escape.  


Benny was letting out short gasps, his throat rasping in breaths in an odd pattern. “Almost out, bro.”  


“I came to--” Lawrence began coughing, the smoke was burning his throat like an acid. Benny began doing the same, trying to make a response between trying to clear his throat , “I got--”  


Katerine’s hulking wolf form was at the top of the stairs, and she darted forward, scooping them into her arms as she carried them away from the danger. Her wolf was wildly different from her human body, powerful and strong, even though the muzzle was white with age.  


Benny began to let out cries of pain again, suddenly, as if he only just realized that his arms were dangling strips of charred and blistering flesh.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you want to talk to myself or your Aunt? Because I do think that we will need to punish you, and it can be of my choosing or hers.” Hal sat back in his chair in the dining hall, picking at the plate of well prepared dinner, but not having the fortitude to really be hungry. 

His sons sat on either side of him. 

Porticia was seated at the other end of the huge table, pretending to listen to Katerine, who was hunched over her own meal. He knew his daughter was straining to listen to what he would say to the twins, as if she should have some say in how this played out. Always looking to be involved in ruling.

Benicio’s arms were wrapped tightly, with blotches of fluid staining the clean white bandages, even though they were changed only a few hours before. 

He checked over at Lawrence, who was similarly playing around with his food, not really eating. 

He worried about them. He worried about them all. But these two. He still had these two. They hadn’t taken off on some… self-discovery quest that called them away from their home. Not yet. They were still under his roof, still capable of learning their responsibilities, of fulfilling their heritage as Lorelei’s.

Still children, despite how close they were coming to being adults. 

With a soft glance, he saw Benny rubbing at his left arm, and then with damaged fingers putting another bite of his bread to his mouth. As if sensing the attention, he looked up from his plate, his normally cocky gaze was one of pain and shame. “Sorry, dad.” He whispered around his mouthful of food, and swallowed hard.

Checking over at Lawrence, Hal could see his other son was frustrated. His eyebrows tight with thought, his face tense. He did not seem to notice the attention, and continued pushing the food from edge to edge of the plate. 

“Lawrence. Do you want to tell myself or Aunt Kat why it is you two have been so at odds?”

Bristling at the question, the smaller twin shook his head, and set his fork down. “I have nothing to say about the incident. Only... that I want my own room. I am old enough to have my own space, and I shouldn’t have to share with someone who is so thoughtless as to not ONLY steal items that are not his, but to do no research whatsoever to their--”

“Lawrence. We’re not discussing rooms at the moment. We can do so later. Right now, we are deciding who you will explain yourselves to. Your sister told me you’ve been injuring one another, and violence is not befitting of a Lorelei.” He checked across the table, to where Katerine was looking at him through her heavily hooded eyes, and she gave a tight nod at him. She was listening, even at this great distance.

Haldor reached out, and placed his hand on those of his sons. “We are not perfect rulers.. nor family, but it is in us to be the best we can. Again, please, Benny, Larry, will you speak to myself or Kat?”

\----------------

The fireside was warm, another rainy afternoon had brought the autumn weather to a chilled sunset. Rocking in the old chair that many before her had enjoyed, she watched the twins enter, Benicio first, then Lawrence a few moments later.

She gave a long sigh, and continued the steady back-and-forth.

“Bit surprised you came to me. I’m not the one you go to for mercy.” 

Benicio’s head bobbed deeply in agreement, she had been particularly harsh to him a few times. But, he was a bit… more… dense. It took a lot for him to learn a lesson.

She wasn’t even sure that the injuries he had taken almost a week ago were going to give him pause.

The boys looked at one another, she noticed there was still a glimmer of anger in Larry’s eyes, and they settled side-by-side on the worn green velvet sofa.

Lawrence’s mouth opened, and then his lip quivered, and he put his hands over his eyes and began to sob.

Benicio actually shifted away in shock, but Katrine watched his expression soften, and then he wrapped his arms around his brother. “Whoa. Okay. Larry? Larry, you okay?”

Larry’s sobbing grew more desperate, and he pulled himself out of his huddle enough to grab onto his brother. 

Rocking slowly, Katrine watched, silently, waiting.

Benicio’s face contorted for a moment, as if he was also going to begin crying. But it was only a flash, illuminated by the flickering fireplace.“Yeah, uh… dad thinks we gotta talk about you about some… uh… wolf stuff.”

“He already talked with you about your behaviour?”

“Uh, yeah.” Benicio patted his brother’s back as Larry’s outburst began to come to an end. “We’re supposed to get like… more wolf advice. Which was... pretty much most of our childhood. So, not sure what else--”

Katerine leaned forward, “--It’s a full moon in a few days. You’re becoming adults. You do understand that our curse is coming upon you soon?”

Lawrence pulled from the embrace of his brother, and scrubbed at his face, his expression one of anger now. She saw the determination in his eyes as they blinked back more tears. “There was no logic to hoping it had…”

“It’s frightening at first.” With gentleness she rarely gave when she was teaching them, she found herself half-whispering. Lost in her own frightening experiences, and how chaotic it felt, particularly when compared to the legacy of her sister. She’d had to be the stable one. The sane one. To hold it all together, and to try to hold the Lorelei name above her own drives, her own dreams.

For every dream she had given up, she had found herself more than contented with the replacement. The marriage of Haldor to that wonderful little spit-fire, Rosaline, the pride of his being happy. Of his own beautiful children, coming to her for teaching and advice, always reminders of her sister’s choices, but the more precious for it. The last wisp of her presence in the keep.

“But it’s not the worst thing to happen to someone.” Katerine rocked even slower, watching the boys, just… was it fourteen years old now? My, how time was merciless.

Benicio gave a smirk, and motioned at her, “See? Like, we know it’s not gonna be so bad, ‘cause she’s ancient and she’s chill with it.”

The tightened brow of the other twin showed he was still processing. “It’s not the pain. We’ve been taught… we know what to expect. Nothing will be a surprise. However, I don’t like…. FEELING it.”

“Have you… like… wolfed-out without me?” Benicio’s expression was something like jealousy and surprise, which made Katerine and Lawrence sigh in unison as the taller boy completely missed the meaning.

Katerine leaned forward, her chair allowing her to cover more distance between them. “The best thing you can do is remember what hold you to this Castle. A family that loves you whatever--” She took a long breath, leaning back into her chair as it swung back heavily. “--you do, wherever you go. Be careful, be wary, and… be afraid. You are safer being afraid.”

“So… have you wolfed? A ‘yeah’ or ‘naw’ is kinda what I’m looking for?” As if her words meant nothing to him, Benicio’s mind was apparently still looping over his twin’s words. 

Closing his eyes, and letting a long breath out through his nose, Lawrence interwove his fingers and shook his head. “No, brother. I am talking about what father spoke to us about in his office.”

“Oh, yeah. That uh... ‘the talk’. Or wait, the thing we just left from? That one? Or ‘the talk’ one? Are you talking about...” He made a few motions with his hands, “...to our, no offense, SUPER old Aunt?” nudged his thumb at Katerine in a non-subtle way, eyebrows raised and furrowed in disgust.

“Gods help me. No, we are still talking about the curse.” Lawrence groaned, clearly holding his own agitated state together by threads. “Aunt Katerine, I would like to know everything you can tell me before the full moon, and… perhaps if you could recommend some reading.”

Benicio sighed loudly, flinching. Slamming backwards into the couch. “Yeah, can I just get the like… highlights on all that?”

\---

The wolf side was always there, but the first time that you transformed was something special, as Benny had been told. 

Aurra had spoken at length about it one evening when they were out in the woods together. She was so convincing, until he’d gone home and told Katerine what he’d been told. The horrified look on her face, and pain in her eyes had been impossible for him to miss. So, he wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

The instincts to hunt, track, and roam were something their family manifested immediately. But it wasn’t until you were on the cusp of adulthood that the transformations came.

Benny had complex feelings about the entire thing. Although he wouldn’t call them that, and tried not to make it any more complex by thinking too deeply about it. But, as the sensations he’d been warned would overtake him on the full moon began to run down his spine, he kept his smile bright.

“You… still mad at me?” He flinched as his stomach cramped, and he heard a whimper to his left. 

Lawrence was cradling his abdomen, and looked over with frightened eyes. 

“You felt that, right?” Lawrence asked softly in Elvish, his eyes wide in fear as he inched closer to his twin. “I don’t think I like it.”

“It won’t be so bad, I mean… Kat does it, and she’s like… a million years old. And uh, Port’s been through it for a few years, and I mean, nothing really changed there.” Benny lowered himself onto the ground as his legs began to spasm, responding in Elvish. His voice trying to be a little soothing, as Lawrence had been unsettlingly weird lately.

“I’m not… mad, Brother. I just feel like something’s not right. I know we have always been at odds in some way, but I was so angry at you. I wanted to see you hurt for… just being you. Then, you were, and I--” Lawrence yelped, and settled next to him, clearly feeling the same sensation, he began to massage his knees. “--I felt like a monster. If… I am becoming a monster before I even become a wolf… what does that mean about me as a person?”

Benicio blinked blankly into the darkness. “Huh. That’s deep.” 

He checked around the cage he’d been placed in, at his brother’s request to be locked up, he found himself asking to be as well.

He wasn’t sure why, but part of him was scared that Aurra would show up in a fury about them being locked up before the night as out. But, so far, there was no sightings of her. She hadn’t been around this month, so maybe she didn’t even know they were going through their first.

They were in modified horse stalls, caged and secured as best they could be without making some kind of weird metal cage for the staff to ponder. “You think that the staff and stuff ever get weirded out we send them off for a few days a month? Like… what do they think we’re doing?”

Katerine was somewhere nearby, he wasn’t sure where, but she said she would be near the keep through the night.

Father had left a few days ago on a trip that he had been unable to reorient to fit the lunar cycle. He’d had years of practice and planning on how to ensure he was capable of travel right up until the night it happened. So, wherever he was, he was safe.

“I haven’t the faintest idea.” Lawrence responded, “I just wish we had someone experienced here. Just, if something went wrong. I know logically, the odds are incredibly low that we’d be the first for this to go awry. But, I admit, I am a bit frightened.”

The talking stopped as they looked at each other, the moon shining into the small window. Iron barring over the area, keeping them, theoretically, contained. 

“Yeah.” Grunting out the low response, Benny felt like his skin was beginning to twitch, and prickled in the light. “I think… we’re gonna go. Ya ready?”

His twin began shuddering, arms wrapped around his midsection. “No.”

Every hair began to stand on end as Benicio felt suddenly flushed with an intense heat, as if his blood had raised temperature. He found himself panting, as that shifting sensation under his flesh began to become more and more intense.

Mimicking his own quick intake of breath off to his left, Benicio glanced over as Larry’s expression went from frightened to eerily cold as his hands reaching for his head.

“Larry? You--”

There was a moment, where his sibling’s face went slack, and then it began to pull away, splitting away from the huge black muzzle that slid from the skin like it was nothing more than removing worn clothes. His twin’s fingers were dug into the nape of his own neck as he shook and jolted as the huge form began to shift from the flesh that could no longer contain it.

Benny felt his own body mimicking what he was watching, and as a yelp of pain came from his throat, his entire body spasmed forward, and the yelp became a short howl.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, to be honest? I watched the special as a whole: Once. I work a lot, and can't scour 4 hours of video for details. If I blank out on a fact, or have made something that contradicts stuff said, forgive me. Call it an AU, that's probably for the best. I will happily do minor changes if I have made a mistake, but if it messes with the story I want to tell... then I am probably going to ignore canon.
> 
> I am also writing and posting this at about midnight my time, usually. So, it's not great, but I'm having fun.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who have been leaving comments and kudos. It's really sweet of you! It helps me stay motivated to write at midnight!
> 
> WARNING: Mentions of Gore and Blood this chapter.

“Please use the information provided to complete the chart, and then once you have done so, write the resulting spell effect.” The small gnomish man wearing fine blues and embroidered reds tapped at the slate a few times. His high, and nearly overwhelmingly nasal voice very clear, despite the vaulted ceilings of the study. Old, even for a gnome, he hobbled across the room to hand the problem to Lawrence. 

“Thank you, sir.”

“Yes, well… don’t take all day on it.” The tutor, Marmolle, had been assigned to Lawrence’s academics since a young age.

Benicio hadn’t been up to the challenges as they grew, and he was now taking separate classes. Less difficult ones.

However, at the moment, Benicio was absent. Having taken the day with Aurra. She had smelled the change on them when she turned up a few days ago, and requested they join her in celebration in the woods.

Lawrence had refused.

She had looked incredibly hurt, but her own haughty pride on level with Portia seemed to keep her from asking again. Benicio had thrown himself at the idea with a level of wholeheartedness that Lawrence could see was his clumsy attempt at making her feel better. 

Sure, his twin would have a good time, but neither twin was very confident in taking off into the forest. It just seemed… too soon.

Lawrence groaned softly, his seat stiff and uncomfortable, and he’d been lost in thought for far too long. He glanced down at the slate. The problem was simple. 

He’d been run through this sort of test regularly, memorizing alchemical components was basic child’s play at this point. 

It was a matter of focus. It was a matter of the mind. It was his area of interest, it was well within his ability.

But... he couldn’t get himself to make sense of it.

This after-hours tutoring session was going poorly. There was no reason for it to be going poorly. 

Lawrence growled under his breath, holding the chalk tightly, and staring at the slate. Just as he had been for the last few minutes.

He heard the grandfather clock out in the hall chime, and a stifled yawn from his tutor, who had left him to work. 

The chiming resonated with the building headache he was experiencing, and it became incredibly aggravating. 

“Damn! Damn it all!” As if the growing scramble in his brain was going to be soothed by doing so, he threw the board across the room. It hit the stonework and shattered. 

Bits of it clattered to the floor as Marmolle startled, his half-moon reading glasses sliding off his long pointed nose, and he fumbled, then dropped, his reading. 

“Dear gods, what in the world are you doing, child?” The elderly gnomish man asked, his expression one of absolute confusion. He swung his short legs around and hopped to the ground, treking across the room to inspect the shattered tablet. 

Lawrence loosened his cuffs on his sleeves, and tried to brush his long hair from his face. “I--I just--I can’t. I can’t focus.”

The gnome straightened his cravat and blinked at him a few times. “There’s no reason for quite such an outburst. We can take a break, if that’s how you’re going to be about it. No need to be testy. I expect this sort of thing from your brother, but--”

Lawrence left his chair, tossing it aside, shaking with barely containable stress and panic. As he headed for the room he shared with his twin, hoping that being alone would drive off the odd sensation, a pang of pain ran through his gut. He faltered, putting a hand out to catch himself on the wall.

A small servant girl of dwarvish lineage stopped as she passed carrying some clean laundry in a wicker basket. “Sir? Are ya’ well?”

Lawrence felt vomit building in his throat. “My-- my father. Get my father.” He began moving again, trying to get to the chamberpot in his bathroom before he threw up. Shaking fingers began unbuttoning his shirt, he was suddenly sweating, panting for air. When had this felt so constricting?

The pain became more intense, and Lawrence stumbled, curling inward, bent nearly in-half in the hallway.

The headache was pulsing at the sides of his head, just behind his ears, it felt heavy and stuffy, as if there was some sort of pressure against his skull. 

‘Click-Tock, Click-Tock’ the ancient timepiece only a few feet ahead of him had just finished tolling, and was now a somewhat soothing pattern, Lawrence listened, trying to choke down bile, and shake free that building force that was inching towards his temples.

He heard someone’s footsteps, and the scent of his father’s cologne became prominent. Around his waist, he felt his father’s arm help hold him, then his other hand reaching to push his son’s head upwards. “Larry?”

Gripping his father’s shirt tightly, Lawrence shivered, his entire body jostling, as his knees began to ache deeply, then his spine, then a pain in the back of his head. “I don’t like this.”

There was a long pause, and then he heard the peculiar sound of his father sniffing. A long breath out, and his father made a sound of confusion. “Come. Away from the servants.” With a surprising amount of strength, his rather lanky father managed to duck under Lawrence’s arm, and practically lift him back to an upright position. “You’re safe, you’re safe.”

“Is this… normal? Isn’t… the moon waning?” Lawrence knew the answer, but he was hoping there was some basis of comparison. 

But even that thought was fading as he felt his bones begin to shift. 

“Steady, Larry. Almost--”

But there was no steadying. Lawrence collapsed completely, tearing at the little spots of white that had begun to grow in at his temples.

He could hear his father’s voice as the transformation finished, blood, the scent of his own blood, hit his nostrils, and he staggered to his feet. Taller. His father was holding a door open, and was saying something, repeating it.

But everything was a muddle, trying to pick back up the bits of his mind and make words comprehensible seemed impossible. Then it began to make sense. 

“--inside your room. You need to go inside--” 

Lawrence stumbled through the door as things began to come into focus. His body finishing it’s shifting, and his mind racing to clarify the world around him. Taking in deep breaths, he turned to see his father grabbing bedding, and rushing out into the hall. Coming back moments later with what looked like… 

“Gods.” The deep bass rumbled through Lawrence’s form as he looked at the discarded flesh and the blood soaked white linens. “Oh gods.” Lawrence began to gag, and rushed to the bathroom, grabbing his chamber pot, and vomiting through his huge wolven maw. He missed, mostly.

When he managed to stop, he looked over to where his father looked a little unnerved as well, holding the shreds of his son’s skin, and red-stained sheets. He carried them to Lawrence’s bathroom, and folded them into a heap in the corner.

Haldor’s face was stoic, but eyes bright with fear and determination. Sometimes, Lawrence forgot that his kind and quiet father had been a warrior in his youth, and was used to gore. Grabbing the water pitcher for face washing, he left the bathroom, and removed the the undersheet off the bed. “A moment, son. I will be with you shortly.” Haldor closed the door as he vanished into the hall.

Lawrence wasn’t sure how long he crouched in that bathroom, shaking and staring at the loose chunks of… himself… in the corner.

Not all of the Loreleis transformed in this manner, some shifted with minimal to no actual shedding, how exactly that worked, he wasn't sure. How his own transformation worked, the inward form of a wolf bursting outward, he also wasn’t sure. But it was repulsive.

He began dry heaving as he continued to stare at the slowly reddening sheets, and realized he couldn’t stay there. Scrambling backwards out of the room, he looked around his room. Claws twitching for something to be doing. 

He began reorganizing his shared room. Making for the biggest and heaviest furniture. He left Benicio’s items alone, but his own bed was now nearer the window, the armoire was on the opposite side of the room, the writing desk nearer to the door. 

Finally, Haldor returned, still slightly bloody, but carrying a pink-stained sheet and an empty pitcher. He went to the bathroom again, and returned with his arms scrubbed and empty handed. 

“Whichever ancestor chose wine-red for carpets was the wisest of us all. Now--” He sat on the now moved bed as if it had always been located on the left side of the room, and placed his hands on his lap. “--Lawrence, why were you transforming in the hallway?”

Dragging a bookcase, Lawrence growled loudly, as books fell free. “I don’t know. It just happened.”

“Were you anxious?”

“No.” Half-way across the room, another handful of books underfoot.

“Were you angry?”

“No. I was just working with Marmolle.” Almost there, an entire shelf snapped, and the books tumbled all over.

“Are you worried about Benny being out with Aurra this afternoon?” 

Lawrence blinked a few times, settling the bookcase where he wanted it, and trying to replace the books he dropped. 

But there wasn’t any fixing or organizing when he was in this state.

He found himself throwing his books across the room, pitching them with fury as he snatched them from the floor.

“A little, of course. But, if anyone’s going to survive as a wolf in broad daylight, it would be Aurra. For such an idiotic passtime, he’s as safe as he could be.”

His father looked genuinely distressed, worried about his son. And Lawrence wished he had more answers, not only for his own peace of mind, but that of his lost looking father.

Lawrence snarled, throwing another book, which crashed into the wall, and he saw one of the pages tear as it impacted. “Damn it!” He grabbed up his biggest fallen tome and pitched it as hard as he could at the bathroom door. Then another, each impacting the wood with a loud ‘Whomp!’ as the books scattered pages. “Damn it all! I hate all of it!”

“Law--”

“Why do we just accept it? Why do we just accept this is us? Why aren’t we finding a cure instead of just waiting?!” Lawrence hissed through his sharp teeth, he knew well that he had to stay quiet, he couldn’t be a roaring monster around the common folk. Even servants he’d known his entire life, they would be horrified if they knew what he was.

“We--” 

“Curse or blessing, we didn’t-- we didn’t earn this! We didn’t want this! Didn’t have a choice, and now it’s what I am? Now it’s WHO I am?” Tearing into the last few books, he crumpled the pages and shredded them, viciously ruining books… books he loved. He split the spines, rending them into small pieces which he threw at the door. Bits of poetry, math, even a few self-written sonnets, were flung at that closed door, drips of saliva and vomit shaking out of his muzzle.

“Lawrence. Sit with me.” Haldor patted the bed next to him.

Lawrence found himself pressing his huge head against his father’s shoulder with great force, as if he was trying to push his father’s human skin back onto himself.

“That was my first edition of Engla’s Verse by Fireside.” He rumbled as his father smoothed the still blood-slick fur. That energy was fading quickly, and felt himself sniffle. “I ruined it.”

Haldor moved slightly, to be able to run both hands down his face, then ruffling the fur behind the ears. Lawrence felt an animalistic whine escape his throat as his father tried to comfort him. “I love you. I love every single one of you. I would rather break my heart over and over, then lose one of you. Whoever you are, who you will grow to be.” 

\----

Benicio tilted his head, standing awkwardly in the empty courtyard, as Aurra padded back out into the woods, quick to leave their little bastion of civilization. No interest in seeing the family tonight it seemed. 

The yard was empty, save the other Loreleis, who were sitting on the steps to the keep, chatting quietly. 

There were no servants, everything hung quietly in the slight puffs of breath he could see escaping into the air. It was nearly silent. Like when they cleared the area for a full-moon. 

His father had an arm slung over Lawrence’s shoulders, and he seemed to be talking softly to Portia who was the first to spot her returned brother. 

She jumped to her feet and began running over. “Benny! Did anything weird happen today? I mean, weirder than whatever Aurra is doing other there snuffling through the dirt and filth.”

Giving a huge shrug, he closed the distance between himself and his sister. “Naw. We uh, ran around for a bit. I think I ate a raw rabbit. Which, is pretty gross. Yeah, I guess that was weird. Aurra was--”

Portia huffed, her breath also lingering in the chilly wind for a moment. She rubbed her face, and motioned towards the rest of the family. Even Katerine was sitting out, wrapped under three large blankets. “Lawrence… had some sort of episode.”

“I don’t know what that means? Is he, like, okay?” Benicio tracked along behind her as they approached.

Lawrence did indeed look worn out, his expression blank. He gave a barely raised wave to his brother, and a little smile. “Hello. How’s Aurra?”

Tossing his arms into the air, Benicio widened his eyes slightly. “You look like you tried to box a bugbear!” His brother laughed harshly, and waved at the air dismissively. “For real, bro, I mean, what did I miss here?”

Katerine shifted a hand free from under the coverings and pointed. “Sit with us, and tell us about your day.”

“Uh, okay.” Glancing around the courtyard again, then up at the dark cloudy sky, he tried to decide what exactly was going on. “But like… why are we all sitting here like hobos?”

There was silence for a moment. 

His father spoke first, his voice having that fake-calm that Benicio had hear adults use when they were trying to pretend everything was under control. His father pointed to one of the steps and gave a look that indicated he should join the family in their odd huddle. “We needed some fresh air, and the last of the servants just headed out. Continue?”

“Sure, uh… yeah. Aurra’s real happy about the new poaching edict. Makes the woods a lot safer with less hunters, and she’s got like, a den, I guess? It’s off--” He motioned towards the West, then paused, and pointed South. “--somewhere around there. It smells like wet dog and grass, but she was really proud of it. And did I mentioned I straight up ate a bunny? Like, we didn’t cook it and... I can still kinda taste it, can I… go get some mouthwash--?”

Benicio heard people shifting behind him on the steps, and he watched as his brother passed by him. Lawrence made it to the stone path way and took a few staggered steps, and then begin to breathe heavily. He grabbed at his abdomen, and Benicio suddenly felt the pain as well, he flinched, wondering at the sensation, glancing backward at his family.

“Wait-- what’re we doing?”

His father wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his shoulders to keep warm. “Lawrence had an uncontrolled transformation. I have seen them triggered by different things, but, I want to make sure that it goes smoothly under better circumstances.”

Portia sniffled the air dramatically, leaning over Benicio’s shoulder, “You smell disgusting.”

Benicio put his hands in the air, another stitch in his gut making him flinch for a moment. “I told you! I ate a random forest critter!” Was it getting warmer? He began leaning into the pain in his stomach, pulling in deep breaths as his pulse began to quicken.

“Benny?” Portia’s voice seemed distant for a moment, her tone one of her tattling to an adult. “Father, Benny’s transforming too! Benny, you moron, don’t you dare--”

“I… uh… can’t stop. I don’t--?” Benicio’s bravado faltered, as he began to curl into the pains, trying to quell them. 

He heard heavy panting. As he looked over to the sound, Lawrence was beginning to tear at the sides of his head, and with a gasp, Benicio felt his own transformation begin in earnest.


End file.
